It's been a while since I have written. I have been working towards understanding the loss of my mom. I have come to the conclusion that there is never understanding, there is only acceptance of the fact -- several weeks back I went to a ladies church retreat, the Sunday morning service was outside, it was a gorgeous day as the speaker began to talk my eyes drifted towards two trees in the clearing just above her head. There was a bird, it looked like an eagle to me, it was soaring -softly --floating and dancing above, since that moment, I have felt a peace I have not felt before that day, I know it was a sign to me that things were going to be alright, I was going to be ok.