Nana's Handsome Boy!

My boy started preschool this year -- it's hard to believe he is almost 2. Where has all the time gone?

It's been a while since I have written. I have been working towards understanding the loss of my mom. I have come to the conclusion that there is never understanding, there is only acceptance of the fact -- several weeks back I went to a ladies church retreat, the Sunday morning service was outside, it was a gorgeous day as the speaker began to talk my eyes drifted towards two trees in the clearing just above her head. There was a bird, it looked like an eagle to me, it was soaring -softly --floating and dancing above, since that moment, I have felt a peace I have not felt before that day, I know it was a sign to me that things were going to be alright, I was going to be ok.

Loving Memory November 10, 1934 - July 20, 2008

My heart is broken...my mother is gone, gone from my presence. You know this day will come, but you are never ready to let go. I can't even express what I feel except a numbness like no other. As I walk through the next few days, weeks, months, I know God will sustain me and give me the strength I need for he is my Shepard.
A friend sent me this poem that says it all...
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's rush
of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die.
Rest in Peace Mama, Rest in Peace

My boy was here yesterday, it's funny, because I can hardly remember a time before he was born. He has a contagious smile, a crazy sense of humor -- he's only 17 1/2
months old. I tell him he's rotten he only shakes his head yes, how could he not be with his sissy (aunt Sarah) and his nutty Nana. You can pretend to be asleep, you know with that snorting snoring sound and he'll run over to wake you up and in the next minute he'll run and lay his head down and do the same thing so you will wake him up. When your children grow up -- it seems you are no longer needed and are a little lost, because you feel as though you have been someones mother forever and you can't cut that off, there's not a button or a pill for that. You're a little lost and lonely -- and then an angel named Collin comes and finds you -- you are no longer lost or lonely you are filled to the brim with excitement and overwhelmed with a love that you had only heard existed and now you know, and now you understand.

Smile it's contagious

As it may be known I work with preschool children. Well I went to the grocery today. As I was approaching my car at the end of shopping; a little girl about 4 or so was sitting in the car with a grandmother. I noticed her because she kept smiling at me and waving with her pointer finger. I put my groceries in the trunk and proceeded to walk the buggy back to the store, as I returned to my car she had moved to the passenger side and just smiled and waved. She acted as though she recognized me in some way, I didn't know her but I waved and smiled as I backed out of my parking space and went on my way. At the end of a busy day, it was nice to have someone smile at you -- not because it's their job, but just because. Don't miss an opportunity to smile -- you never know what kind of day the other person is having.

Happy Mother's Day

What a great day. My mom looked great, my boy was there, my girls were there, life is good. My family celebrates every holiday I mean EVERY holiday -- we're almost as bad as Hallmark with their cards for every occasion. But, as time goes by it's all about family -- I know everyone gets frustrated thinking oh great one more cook out or one more dinner, but as life goes, we never know when one time might be our last memory of a family member. So we gather together and enjoy.

Oh what a night...

What a night last night was. I am so grateful to have finally finished my certification in Early Childhood Education. Graduation was all I thought it would be. It took me some time to get there---I would start and stop--start and stop, but I was determined to finish. I know it was something I was supposed to do -- my purpose--my road to travel. God is so good! My family made me feel so special and wonderful. I love them -- they are my life -- my heartstrings. I thank them for there love and support -- not only for my schooling but everything else I sometimes get into-- I am determined sometimes. Stubborn would be the word I think they would use.

Kidney Stones--Kidney Stones

Boy -- can a kidney stone knock you for a flip. I have had a couple for few days now and hope they go away fast. I miss my coffee! And my coke ZERO! They do require some lifestyle changes. I am working on it though.